I am a pain to myself and hard on myself. Why? It is due to my health and financial situation. Lao Tzu said, “When I let go of what I am, I became what I might be.” If I look to the other side and say I did not make the choices that created my health issues, where would I be? I know I cannot change the past, so I need to forgive myself for the damage I have brought on myself and others. If I let go of the past through forgiveness, I will heal mentally and physically. I can become what I want to be. Sure I have tried many times to forgive myself, but for some reason, I keep stepping backward. I take two steps forward and one step back. I realize that this is my weakness and a daily challenge.
I choose to attend Bryant and Stratton so I can make a step toward a better life financially. When I am home, I tend to focus on the negative. I know that this is what makes it worse. Being outside of the confines of home and working toward a definite goal makes one healthier. I realize this and choose to make that “two steps forward.” I also know that there will be a lot of challenges that could cause me to take the “one step back.”
If I can “let go of what I am” or have done, I can become “what I might be.” I can be a better man to myself and others. I can be mentally, physically, and emotionally stable which in turn brings the financial stability. If I am stable, I can work instead of volunteering.
Lao Tzu in his teaching states that to surrender oneself is to reach a higher plane of existence. It is odd that I believe in this, but cannot seem to find the motivation to do it. I hope through writing I can achieve this.
This writing still holds true, so let go and become.